Archive for the ‘Books’ Category

Image“Two Scoops, Bitch” Nacho Donut is now for breakfast!!!

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The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

19,000 people fit into the new Barclays Center to see Jay-Z perform. This blog was viewed about 70,000 times in 2012. If it were a concert at the Barclays Center, it would take about 4 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

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I have heard from a source that today is National Hamburger Day. There are conflicting reports about this on the internet but I have found enough evidence to say that it is.

On this glorious day, I am left to contemplate one of the greatest pieces of literature of my generation. Of course, I am talking about Phil Hirsch’s 101 Hamburger Jokes. This book has changed my life in so many ways. I remember ordering it from one of those flimsy yet colorful paper sheets that we would get in grade school where we would pretty much be forced to buy books. Other people would get Goosebumps and books about Football and I would get books like this one. I also once got a poster of a chimpanzee wearing a Superman costume which I hope that I still have somewhere.

When I saw the picture of this Hamburger fortune teller I knew that this book was going to be the most significant book that I would ever have the opportunity to read. This book was one of the building blocks in my development as a human being. It’s impact on Nacho Donut is evident.

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There is a new tab at the top of the Nacho Donut page called the Random Post Generator. It is pretty self explanatory and will give you access to hundreds of Nacho Donut posts that you may have never seen before.

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A few month’s ago I was in a book store and I read this book called “Duck!Rabbit!”. This groundbreaking work of literature has left me both confused and inspired. Time magazine ranks it as the top children’s book of 2009. When I read it, it made me realize that I have missed my calling in life. I should have been writing children’s books all along.  In my opinion, it is the best children’s book I have read since Bill Peet’s The Wump World.

When I was in third grade, I borrowed this book from the school library. I returned it when I was done reading it.  A few weeks later the school librarian said that I did not return it and that I would have to pay a fine. I went to the shelf and showed her the book and proved that I had returned it. (In your face, Mrs. Allen. )

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I’ll read anything the guy writes, and when it’s a 700+ page book about my favorite sport it’s a no-brainer. I read some of my brother’s copy over Thanksgiving and can’t wait to finish it when I get a copy of my own.

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Some Jehovah’s Witnesses stopped by my house today. I have heard that the end of the world was coming before and nothing happened but I guess this time it is really going down. They gave me these papers with some really scary pictures on them. I guess if you are not a Jehovah’s Witness you are pretty much fucked when the world ends, which is supposed to happen any day now. It probably won’t be that soon though because they are having a convention at the Wolstein Center next weekend. It is a pretty safe bet that the world will not be ending until at least some time after that. I don’t have a working scanner at the moment so I can’t put the actual flyer on here but I have found some similar images on Google Image search so check it out.I even found a Patriotic one for the holiday weekend. All of you sinners better repent. 



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