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Archive for the ‘Nacho Donut Enemies’ Category

The internet is handing out the justice to Denny’s that it has always deserved. The face of Denny’s is now an anthropomorphic piece of fecal matter. Screen Shot 2017-09-12 at 5.05.23 PM.png

This is not my story but I had to share it. I have a nearly 6 month long no twitter streak going but I want to come back really bad for this. I am not going to but I needed to make note of this.

Link to Mandatory Story

http://www.craveonline.com/mandatory/1321501-dennys-new-mascot-literally-looks-like-poop-twitter-going-nuts

 

 

 

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The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

19,000 people fit into the new Barclays Center to see Jay-Z perform. This blog was viewed about 70,000 times in 2012. If it were a concert at the Barclays Center, it would take about 4 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

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The Time They Got Locked in That Dungeon

Of all the things Pat Sajak hated, what he hated most was being locked up in a dungeon and left for dead.

“Fuck,” Pat Sajak thought, “how did they know I hate being left for dead?”

As his eyes adjusted to the light, Pat Sajak noticed that Nacho Donut joined him in his current predicament. The two had been travelling along in their RV when a routine traffic stop brought their trip to a halt.

“How many fucking tickets do you have to get for us to be thrown in a dungeon?!” shouted Nacho Donut. “A DUNGEON?!”

“You better shut that little circle you call a mouth if you know what’s good for you, boy. Or girl.” replied Pat Sajak.

Pat Sajak was beginning to shimmy around and survey his surroundings. Pat Sajak also had a weird grin on his face.

“Can’t get any worse than this.” said Nacho Donut. “Unless you somehow break free and then decide that raping me is your first priority.”

Pat Sajak was insulted and had had enough. He had had enough before, but this was the most he had ever had had enough in his life. He had also had it up to here.

“Listen, you walking butthole. You fried little shit ring. I’ve seen Saw and all the trailers for the sequels. I know exactly what to do in a situation like this.”

As Pat Sajak was saying this, he grew redder and redder in the face. He was almost purple.

“All I gotta do is saw my fucking leg off and I’m outta here. Probably even fuck you on the way out,” Pat Sajak muttered.

Nacho Donut began to wonder when their relationship had become so sexual. It had always been violent, almost exclusively so, but this was a new wrinkle.

“Mr. Sajak, I think this is just a puzzle. And I’ve almost got it figured out…”

Before Nacho Donut could get another sentence out, Pat Sajak began to saw his fucking leg off.

“Sweet shit, that hurts! Oh, God, this is worse than Jeopardy!” screamed a surprisingly coherent, and obviously jealous, Pat Sajak.

As the hours passed, Pat Sajak came closer and closer to freedom as the lake of blood around his leg grew bigger and bigger. When Pat Sajak finally freed himself, he looked up, only to see there was no one else in the dungeon. Pat Sajak stumbled back to the apartment to see Nacho Donut, who had been there for hours, sprawled out on the couch. He had watched all the shit they had saved on the DVR. Of all the things Pat Sajak hated, what he hated second most was when people didn’t wait for him to watch shit he had saved on the DVR. The golden rule.

Then, Pat Sajak fainted and fell over, because he had chopped his leg off, while Nacho Donut Netflixed Love Actually.

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Brandon Bass Dunks in the face of Fish Molestation

I noticed a disturbing trend on Google Image Search today involving fish. As it turns out, fishing is not the innocent outdoor recreational activity that I once thought it was. There is some seriously weird shit going on with these camping trips that dudes are always going on. Married women out there, when your husband comes back from his camping trip smelling like fish, you better hope that he was cheating on you with another woman because it could be much worse. I have seen some weird stuff before but what is going on in our lakes, rivers and streams these days is just plain wrong. As I stated previously on Twitter, it is bad enough that people are tricking fish into thinking they are about to eat a delicious worm. Now fishermen are straight up molesting fish.

This would be an excellent time to make a joke about rods but this is no laughing matter. Additionally, this has nothing to do with the Southpark Kanye West Gay Fish episode as that was fictionalized and this is real. Nacho Donut has teamed up with NBA not-superstar Brandon Bass to bring an end to this disgusting practice. We will be accepting donations to help our cause. All donations will go towards the purchase of a Ryobi drill set which I will use to drill holes in fish molesters boats. When they sink into the body of water that they were about to desecrate with forced fish love, the fish will know who they are and fish lip them to death. It will be poetic justice.

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I really don’t like Gaddafi and it has been a while since I have started a new recurring set of posts on Nacho Donut so I am thinking that “Dissing Gaddafi” might be the next great Nacho Donut series. I was thinking about making a video of Gaddafi getting raped by a donkey and even started to look for the video of that but I realized that such a video would be too easy. I came up with something much worse. You will just have to watch this video. It might seem like the same video that I just included in the last post but I assure it is not.

You are now in Nacho Donut enemies. Enjoy your stay.

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There is a new tab at the top of the Nacho Donut page called the Random Post Generator. It is pretty self explanatory and will give you access to hundreds of Nacho Donut posts that you may have never seen before.

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