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Archive for the ‘Television’ Category

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What did Nothing Burger ever do to you?

The latest trend in media is Nothing Burger Bullying. People on the right, on the left and even those who recognize that they have zero obligation to join a group are participating. This has put Nothing Burger on pace to become Something by the end of this sentence.

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Do you hate meat? Do you hate not-meat? Do you fear the rise of Nothing Burger?

Have you considered the feelings of Nothing Burger’s Barren Bun?

Without Bun, Nothing Burger would just be air. This would result in Nothing Burger being everywhere. An omnipresent Nothing Burger cognizant of those who have built themselves up by putting him down is not an enemy that I would want to have.

As a Not Food myself, I see this as an attack on all foods that mainly exist in the imaginations of fantasy foodies. Nothing Burger being pummeled in the media on a daily basis is destined to have repercussions. I will not be on the wrong side of history.

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Pre-Tonight Show and TBS Conan O’Brien may have been the funniest show that was on television in my lifetime. He is still funny but I just don’t watch much TV anymore.

Here is a classical Masturbating Bear compilation that I found on youtube.

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Papa Smurf does not wear a shirt and neither does JR Smith.

Papa Smurf has a beard and JR Smith has a beard.

Papa Smurf is not under contract and JR Smith is not under contract.

Based on these facts, I have concluded that Papa Smurf and JR Smith are one in the same.

I am sure there is some explanation for why they do not both have blue skin but that is insignificant.

You can see the undeniable resemblance in this picture.

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I don’t know if you have noticed but despite not having legs or feet, Nacho Donut has a little more pep in his step today than he did yesterday. Thats because he made it onto the local news station last night. NachoDonutBrowns.jpg

With neither arms nor hands, Nacho Donut’s reach knows no boundaries. His Tweet and image of new Cleveland Browns’ coach Hue Jackson with the Wolverine hand were featured prominently on WKYC Channel 3, the local NBC affiliate for Cleveland, Ohio.

It was kind of like the time when Q-tip first heard his own voice on the radio when DJ Red Alert played a song that he was on except not anywhere near as significant. It was probably more like times when people say “Bob-a-Booey,Bob-a-Booey” on the news for Howard Stern. In any case, this was a great achievement in Nacho Donut history. Hue1.jpg

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Things like this are not supposed to happen but every once in a while there is a breakthrough that provides us all with hope for the future. This is validation of Nacho Donut’s greatness. Most importantly, this development should bring some much needed luck to the Cleveland Browns and especially Hue Jackson.

Thank you to Channel 3 for featuring Nacho Donut on the news. I must have some fans there. If you would have told me that Nacho Donut was on the news, I would have been worried about it being for crossing the line with some kind of controversial tweet that rubbed somebody the wrong way. If that ever happens, just know that my intention is to rub you the right way.

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James Harden is known for his big, bushy beard. These are some of the things that live inside of it. Let me know if there is anything else that you know of that has gotten stuck in James Harden’s beard.Sep 29, 2014; Houston, TX, USA; Houston Rockets guard James Harden (13) poses for a photo during media day at Toyota Center. Mandatory Credit: Troy Taormina-USA TODAY Sports

Sep 29, 2014; Houston, TX, USA; Houston Rockets guard James Harden (13) poses for a photo during media day at Toyota Center. Mandatory Credit: Troy Taormina-USA TODAY Sports

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