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Posts Tagged ‘Cleveland Cavaliers’

Richard Jefferson is fed up with the critics. The long time NBA Veteran has some fresh ink to demonstrate his displeasure. Just in case you forgot this man’s initials, RJ is now spelled out for you prominently on Jefferson’s forehead. Nothing says “No More Mr. Nice Guy” like a Face Tat. In what may be his final NBA season, RJ gives very few fucks these days.RJ_Yellow_Face_Tatt6.jpg

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Shumpert is in James Harden’s beard now. JamesHardenShumpertBeard.jpg

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At first, Baron Davis was not exactly thrilled about joining the Cleveland Cavaliers. Now he looks like he hit the jackpot. He has abducted Nacho Donut and I fear for the worst.

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Now that LeBron James has left Cleveland in what seems to have been a move that was planned for several years, our city’s hopes and dreams rest on the shoulders of one man. This Guy. His neon vest, Horace Grant goggles, jean shorts and dirty orange hobo stick give him the urban superhero vibe that we need to revive our slumping economy and self esteem. This Guy never quit like that guy did during game 5. No one can tell you where to park your car quite like him. With a smile on his face and a boner in his pants he greets you warmly, waving you towards a spot he bathed with urine just moments ago.

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I saw this in the sports page today and laughed. Joel Przybilla, known more for having his thumb in his butt, thumbed Shaq in the eye on Friday night.

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What?

What?

After David Stern announced that the Cavs drafted Christian Eyenga he had to walk all the way from the Congo to the stage to shake his hand. That was the farthest anyone ever had to walk to the stage ever in the history of any draft in any sport. I don’t think he was even invited to the draft. He was just sitting in the audience like it was “The Price is Right”. The only video they had of this guy looked like the footage of a high school team from the 80’s. He had one really awesome dunk in the footage though and I am pretty sure we drafted him based off of that alone.

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Don’t fake the funk on a nasty dunk.

The Cavs acquired Shaq at around 1 A.M. , essentially for nothing. Ben Wallace will probably retire and even if he doesn’t, he doesn’t have much left. Sasha Pavlovic would show occasional flashes of being a decent player but he could not finish strong at the basket and he never took advantage of his opportunities. The 46th pick in what is widely considered to be a weak draft might get you a D-league All Star at best. The 500,000 in cash is nothing to Dan Gilbert. Hopefully we will resign Varejao and get at least one more good player for next year. This will be good for Z especially because he will not have to play as much, and when he comes in for Shaq it will be such a drastic difference that it will throw other teams off. Besides this, Shaq still gets double teamed a lot even at his age and this will force teams to have to choose between either doubling him or LeBron.

In honor of Shaq coming to Cleveland, here is Fu-Schnickens.

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