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Posts Tagged ‘Nature’

I retired from twitter but I can see that you are still sending me things. I suggest that you take a time-out from tweeting and enjoy a real bird that sounds exactly like DMX.

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I just got stung by a bee on my left achilles tendon. My sock was not much defense against this attack.

Bees_Collecting_Pollen_2004-08-14

This literally just happened. It hurt pretty bad, but not that bad. It was mostly just surprising. It got me two times and did not leave a stinger and I saw that motherfucker fly away taunting me. This marks the third time in my life that I have been stung by a bee. Once when I was about five, another time when I accidentally stepped on a dead one in third grade, and now today. I guess I am lucky to have gone that long without being stung by a bee because now I remember how bad it sucks. Mainly the place it got me sucks because I feel it with every step I take. I realize that bees are necessary for pollination and that the cycle of nature would be fucked up without them but I am going to kill these bees by my house as hard as I fucking can right now.

These are not just your average bees. I have been killing them periodically throughout the summer and they keep coming back so based on the theory of survival of the fittest these are the most bad ass ones left. Before the one stung me, ten of them flew right at my head like they were World War II pilots on some kind of bombing mission. I should have gone inside but I just kept cutting my grass.

 I bet that bee that got me is their hero now. I hope you enjoy your moment in the sun, bees. I going to fuck you up now.

To make matters worse, when this occurred I screamed “Motherfucker!!!!” really loud. I looked over my shoulder and saw that a bunch of little kids and their parents were one driveway away from my house because they just got off of the bus.

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NACHO DONUT PRESENTS LEOPARD ATTACK

 

leopardattackleopardattackdleopardattack13

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kind of an epic picture for deodorant

Tom knows what’s up. He’s always looking to hook a brotha up with some environmentally friendly hygiene that actually works. I’ve been rockin’ the toothpaste and deodorant for some time now, and have not been disappointed. The soap is kind of expensive (but I’ve tried it and it works) so right now I’m going with Clearly Natural; it’s fairly cheap and does the job. Anyway, Tom’s of Maine really has everything you need though, so it’s a good place to start if you are looking for hygiene that’s good for you and good for the world. No animal testing, no artificial ingredients, and sustainable production. Sounds good to me!

squeeze from the bottom up!

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On a day like today what I normally like to do is snag. It really helps me to clear my thoughts. To my dismay, I found out that snagging is now prohibited. I am outraged by this.

Thank you for not snagging.

Thank you for not snagging.

What is the world coming to when you can’t even snag anymore? I would write my congressman about this issue but my congressman is Dennis Kucinich so that is just going to make matters worse. I guess you win terrorists. I hope you are happy. Snagging was pretty much the only thing I was good at. What am I supposed to do now?

I guess I will just get back to my research on riparian vegetation. If you don’t know what that is, here is an example. (more…)

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