Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘satire’

What did Nothing Burger ever do to you?

The latest trend in media is Nothing Burger Bullying. People on the right, on the left and even those who recognize that they have zero obligation to join a group are participating. This has put Nothing Burger on pace to become Something by the end of this sentence.

500_F_152387599_kxYZtpAfmD0Ws70D6Z5ns6eokZad43Of

Do you hate meat? Do you hate not-meat? Do you fear the rise of Nothing Burger?

Have you considered the feelings of Nothing Burger’s Barren Bun?

Without Bun, Nothing Burger would just be air. This would result in Nothing Burger being everywhere. An omnipresent Nothing Burger cognizant of those who have built themselves up by putting him down is not an enemy that I would want to have.

As a Not Food myself, I see this as an attack on all foods that mainly exist in the imaginations of fantasy foodies. Nothing Burger being pummeled in the media on a daily basis is destined to have repercussions. I will not be on the wrong side of history.

Read Full Post »

Butt Aid

In the 1980’s, big productions and massive collaborations for charity were all the rage. The musical talents of Butt were used in many of these, including the most epic of these projects “We are the World.”  

Another thing that was all the rage in the 1980’s was doing massive amounts of cocaine. With Butt’s face being buried in a mountain of white powder for most of the decade, he was oblivious to the fact that he had been edited out of all of the video footage of these projects. It was not until he began organizing his own project, the ill-fated “Butt Aid”, that he noticed the other 80’s pop-stars he had been working with wanted nothing to do with him. He soon had a major falling out with Hall and Oates, punched Kenny Rogers in the face and called Dionne Warwick a whore in front of her children.

His life long goal of bringing aid to other Butts through music was falling apart. Distraught over being stabbed in the back by his peers, Butt took a turn for the worst. He vowed to complete the “Butt Aid” project by himself. He was in the studio day and night doing more drugs and drinking more heavily than ever before. The never released “Butt Aid” theme was becoming very dark and disturbing. Worried that Butt’s life was in jeopardy, Pubie Brown made calls to all of the buttones to talk about how bad things had gotten. For the first time in years all of the Buttones united, flying in from all over the world to stage an intervention. They showed up at his studio just in time as Butt was found passed out face down on the mixing board. He had peed his pants.

They checked him into rehab immediately for what would be the first of many instances in such a facility. Although his project was never completed, a “Butt Aid” of sorts did occur as the Buttones finally got help for their estranged friend and leader. Conversations about a new album began to start and rumors began to circulate.

Read Full Post »