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Despite it being obvious to the naked eye, many have questioned the specifics of Nacho Donut’s illustrious body parts. Our inbox is perpetually flooded with inquiries related to nacho donut’s flawless physique. Through not-science and the factual nature of infographics, we attempt to clear up some of the confusion. In Nacho Donut Anatomy #1, we bring to attention Nacho Donut’s knee. Upon magnification under a microscope, we have discovered that Nacho Donut is made of Nacho Donut.

 

 

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I am slowly but surely making advancements with the Nacho Donut cartoon. This donut is one of the first ones that I made and it is one of my favorite donuts. It is very important that they have good names and I have been thinking about it for a while. I have decided that in the way that Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were named after famous Renaissance artists, the Donuts in Nacho Donut’s dirty dozen will be named after famous people in Hip Hop. This Donut is named Just Glaze and it is based off of producer Just Blaze as if you couldn’t figure that out for yourself. Just Glaze hoists salsa and he is friends with a tortilla chip. I think that the donuts will have names but the tortilla chips are just going to be called tortilla chips. It all has to do with Nacho Science and everything related to its origins. Nachos have basically been around for as long as corn has and that is a long ass time.

Here is “Breathe” by Fabolous which was produced by Just Blaze. Say what you have to say about Fabolous but this is one of the best beats of all time.

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Prahladbhai Jani has gone 65 years without food or water. He now faces his greatest temptation, Nacho Donut.

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This is a sneak preview of things to come.

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Nacho Donut went to kick it with Hokusai in the 1820’s. His image left an impression on the Japanese artist which led to Nacho Donut’s depiction in the woodblock print, The Great Wave off Kanagawa.

Click the image for poster size version suitable for printing and framing.

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On this day in 1610, Galileo observed four of Jupiter’s moons for the first time. Soon after, he observed a celestial body that would blow his mind and disrupt the progress of astronomy for many years. Following this event, heliocentrism became the least of his concerns. In his notes, Galileo documented a flying donut traveling at tremendous speeds.
He was convinced that it had futurustic cheese properties which it used to propel itself through time and space. Becoming obsessed with what he had witnessed, Galileo abandoned his previous work. Instead he would stare at the sky every night thereafter, often shaking his fists at the heavens above. The once great astronomer began to wander the streets in his bathrobe and soon enough, one could no longer distinguish him from the countless other mentally unstable vagrants that populated the slums of Italy. Years passed by and Galileo was gradually forgotten until one day he walked into a library he used to regularly frequent. He began to stir up a ruckus and got into an exchange of words with the library staff.

“What the fuck do you think you are doing old man?”

“I am going to wipe my ass with your fucking scrolls, bitch.”

“Oh God, close your robe for Christ Sakes.”

“God has nothing to do with this… and besides that, you know you like what you see.”

“I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

“Oh, you’re going to have to ask me to pee? I think I can oblige you.” The indistinguishable pitter patter of urine striking an astrological scroll resounded throughout the silent library.

“Do you know who the fuck I am? I am Galileo Galilei … and this is what I think of your scroll.”

“Get the fuck out of here”

“Ahh, that feels good.”

(To Be Continued?)

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Traveling through time is not as easy as one might expect, particularly when you happen to be a nacho flavored donut on an important mission. Donut crumbs get everywhere and nacho cheese residue can slow transmission speeds to a halt. There is no flux capacitor involved with this so don’t even think about coming with that fictional shit.  You can not use the time machine too often and traveling back in time near the end of the year can prove to be dangerous. Nacho Donut was warned to not use the time machine again until next year but Nacho Donut will be Nacho Donut. Right now we don’t where he is but I am sure he will be back in 2010.

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Actually, we have just received word from Nacho Donut. He is now in the future and is reporting that it is fucking awesome.

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