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Posts Tagged ‘words’

What did Nothing Burger ever do to you?

The latest trend in media is Nothing Burger Bullying. People on the right, on the left and even those who recognize that they have zero obligation to join a group are participating. This has put Nothing Burger on pace to become Something by the end of this sentence.

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Do you hate meat? Do you hate not-meat? Do you fear the rise of Nothing Burger?

Have you considered the feelings of Nothing Burger’s Barren Bun?

Without Bun, Nothing Burger would just be air. This would result in Nothing Burger being everywhere. An omnipresent Nothing Burger cognizant of those who have built themselves up by putting him down is not an enemy that I would want to have.

As a Not Food myself, I see this as an attack on all foods that mainly exist in the imaginations of fantasy foodies. Nothing Burger being pummeled in the media on a daily basis is destined to have repercussions. I will not be on the wrong side of history.

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Like most people, I often find myself wondering, “What are the origins of the dingleberry ?”.  Today I took fecal matters into my own hands and decided to find out once and for all.  It turns out that a dingleberry was originally known as type of cranberry that grew on mountains. People who lived near dingleberry trees noticed that the poop that clings to the dreadlocked butt hairs of animals resembled dingleberries dangling from trees. Ever since, Dingleberry is a word that has stuck to our vernacular like a dingleberry.

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Today is a special Two for Tuesday music video day at Nacho Donut. The state of Iran is so crazy right now that I just keep thinking about Flock of Seagulls. I know it is supposed to be pronounced “E-Ron” but whatever. It is really fucked up to see what is going on over there but many revolutions throughout history have began following similar killings during protests and something like that could be good for Iran, the United States, and basically anyone in the world who is not down with genocide for the sake of religion. It seems like it is mostly young people in Iran who are against the bullshit over there, and with two thirds of their population being under 30 (wikipedia what up) things could continue to escalate in the future even if nothing changes for the time being.

Although this might seem like something that could slow or prevent Iran from developing or using a nuclear weapon, it could also speed up the process. It is not really out of the question to think that Iran could have some nukes stashed somewhere that could have been “misplaced” after the fall of the Soviet Union. (Russia and Iran share a border, they have been trade partners, both governments are shady…). In addition to that, Uranium is a natural resource to Iran and everyone knows that they want a nuclear weapon. Having nuclear weapons to countries is what having a cell phone was like to individual people. At first only a few people have it, then more people have it, and then you are eventually a loser if you don’t have one so you have to get one. With so many countries around Iran having nuclear capabilities it is naive to think that acquiring the same technology is not something they are desperately seeking. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has stated that Iran only wants  to have a nuclear energy program but how much sense does that make when your oil reserves are the third largest in the world (Wikipedia)? That dude does not care about the environment. He reminds me a of a villain from an 80’s movie. Villains from 80’s movies are jealous of that guy.

Anyways, where am I going with this? Sometimes I just start writing stuff so I don’t even know. Oh yeah. Here it is. If somewhere down the road a revolution in Iran seems imminent, those in power might just decide to use one of their nukes (if they have one) because they will know that it could be there only chance to do so. They might know that they are going down and just say fuck the world (literally). If their leaders know that they are going to be overthrown and they have a nuclear weapon at their disposal then they just might blow some shit up with it. It could be a conspiracy theory that I have just concocted from sleep deprivation but it isn’t that ridiculously out of the question to not consider it as a potential future scenario. I hope that this does not happen because if it does, Nacho Donut will probably be shut down by the C.I.A. or something. Then people will call me Nachodamus.

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