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Lebron James takes on the Pelicans tonight in New Orleans. No word as of yet if he will be playing basketball but actual pelicans residing in New Orleans should be very concerned. Lebron is coming for you with a vengeance. This is somehow related to Johnny Manziel being abducted by an owl.  
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Cleveland Browns backup quarterback and former Heisman trophy winner Johnny Manziel has been abducted by an owl. Details of his capture are still not clear. Sources close to the situation have told Nacho Donut that this may have to do with owls being mad at Canadian superstar Drake, a Manziel associate. Drake has been using the likeness of an owl to promote “OVO” without the expressed written consent of owls. Owls are generally considered to be full of wisdom so I will not question this Owl’s motive for the abduction of Johnny Football.

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There are a lot of unanswered questions in the world today and I plan to get to the bottom of all of them. I will start with the most important issue as it is something that we all have to live with every day. Of course I am talking about emojis.

This is a screen shot of my most recently used emojis. Yes, this is officially straight off of my phone. I have an iPhone so I may not have the same emojis as you but here is a little window for you to see into the mind of nacho donut. It is kind of like staring directly into the sun so please proceed with caution.

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Something that has perplexed me for some time is this one.

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It is not the clearest image of it but I know that you know what I am talking about. It is hard to get a good picture of it because it is an emoji and I am a donut. Although it is a topic for another post, I hope to one day shrink myself down to the size of an emoji and enter their world to learn more about how they live.

The vast majority of emoji’s make some type of sense. Smiley face, not smiley face, frog, panda, arrow, arab man, up, down etc. However, this one remains a mystery. I don’t know what anyone else sees when they look at this but to me, this is an alligator head with reindeer antlers that is on a dinner plate. This thing is disturbing to me. Every time I look through my phone for a witty and situational emoji to use, I end up seeing this thing and I just do not understand it.

To make matters worse, when I tweet the Alligator deer head, it turns into this.

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Now it is a sea monster. Somewhere between my phone and twitter the alligator deer head turns into a sea monster.

I am really confused about what is happening and I don’t know what to do. I am hoping someone out there has the answers.

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This is a picture of all apple emojis that I have.

Assofluid

It has been a little while since I added something to the blog so today I bring you something spectacular that will potentially save the world according to this animation.

It is a new product called “Assofluid” and apparently it has many environmental applications. Besides that, it is called “Assofluid”. I have yet to interpret it into english but I am looking to purchase stock in this company regardless.

 

900 Year-Old Tree

This is the Montezuma Bald Cypress tree and it is 900 years old and survived a megadrought. Don’t fuck with this tree or it will kill you because obviously you aren’t killing it.

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Despite it being obvious to the naked eye, many have questioned the specifics of Nacho Donut’s illustrious body parts. Our inbox is perpetually flooded with inquiries related to nacho donut’s flawless physique. Through not-science and the factual nature of infographics, we attempt to clear up some of the confusion. In Nacho Donut Anatomy #1, we bring to attention Nacho Donut’s knee. Upon magnification under a microscope, we have discovered that Nacho Donut is made of Nacho Donut.

 

 

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